Someday, I will be like the X-Men. Why? Because of microwaves.

WTF? you say.

Well, when I cook food in the microwave, I like to stand reeeaaaal close and watch it go round and round through the little window thing. I don't really know why, I mean, I don't need to. I just have nothing else to do for the short time my food is cooking.

Except for when I'm making Maruchan Instant Lunches. You know, those styrofoam cups with noodles and spices. I never boil water and then pour it into the cups like you're supposed to. Rather, I pour water in the cup, then heat the whole thing in the microwave.

Anyways, it is my firm belief that in order to get it to taste right, you must bring the water as boiling-y as possible without it spilling out of the cup. In this case, I must watch the cup as it cooks.

Anyways, I one day asked my dad if standing next tot he microwave is bad for you. He said, "Yes." I haven't learned yet.

Assuming I don't die from the microwave, and instead get superpowers, I hope I get the ability to read people's minds. That would be the best. I also hope I can fly. Flying is kinda a useless power as powers go, but it'd be soo cool. But if I get the power of flight it has to be with wings and not Superman style, because Superman style is retarded.

I say all this because I just cooked an Instant Lunch. A Creamy Pesto one in fact. They happen to be my favorite. My second favorite is the Cheddar Cheese Flavor. The worst are the wonton ones because they fall apart...

You know that one X-Man? I think his name was Ace. What was up with him? I mean, all he did was throw cards that exploded upon impact. That's not really a super power. It's kinda just a skill. He was a sucky X-Man.

-Neil

Current Music: "Paranoid Android" - Radiohead

P.S.  My friend Keller tells me the X-Man was named Gambit, not Ace, and that he could blow other things up besides cards.  I think Keller is kind of a nerd...